Training Day

Having to train people, especially people who are going to be your replacements, is such a surreal task.

First of all, why are they asking you to do this. What's your motivation, maaan? I mean you're leaving anyways, right?

And then there's the matter of technique. Do you tell them what they want you to tell them or do you tell them how the job really is?. Do you show them the ropes or just use them to do all your work for you? Do you make them great? And if you do, do you make yourself look errant and slothful in retrospect? Or do you try to knock 'em down and punch 'em in the gut before they take their first lap?...

Do you make them your clones? Your disciples? Teach them all your little tricks and ticks so that they wear your face on their T-shirt and become your "Sons of Batman"?

Do you just give them the quickie tour, leaving them to flounder in uncertainty and clumsiness like you did when you first started? Do you not tell them where the washrooms are or that you can take breaks. Do you turn them into workaholics and alcoholics with the thousand-yard-stare deathmarch mindset?

And then there's the sinister voice in your brain that tells you to totally lead them astray. Utterly. To create in them a time bomb that will explode long after you're gone. To stick it to the institution and take them out in the giant, untraceable blaze of your legacy. To leave nothing but a pile of whimpering flesh and tears with a "Hello My Name Is" badge slowly peeling off.

These are things you have to decide, but then you find out that your replacement listens to the same awesome music that you do; and so you just want to be friends.