Ooogh

Man, my mom's been here for three days and I feel like i've been run through a blender. There's this thing that happens four or five times in the morning: Since i'm crashing on the couch, for the duration, my spare blanket is a pretty hefty thing. By the middle of the night I'm usually sweating my ass off. I can kick the blanket off my feet a little bit to cool off, but everytime I do this my mom tip toes over and tucks it back in. I'm losing a lot of sleep, but I don't want to say anything about it because it's so sweet having a mom tuck you in.

I really love having her here and we're by no means tearing into each other like high school redux or anything, what bugs me though, is that mom's really energetic and wants to go head out and check things out everyday. It really puts a magnifying glass on just how little I get out most of the time. I noticed that I don't have a lot of energy and it's really starting to worry me. I thought I was healthy but if I totally can't keep up with all 78lbs of my mother, nevermind the age difference, what's that bode for me? I'm dead tired every day from my brain-eating zombie schedule and the misanthropic night job and drawing lifestyle is totalling wasting me out. It's getting pointed out that I have rolls of fat on my small frame, man I was totally a model heroin addict build just four or five months ago. And as I exhale I feel out of breath: paranoia? just more tiredness? It's not good. Not good at all.

I looked through Matthew Woodson's site again today and I, once again, was completely blown away by how annihilating his skill level is. It's inspiring, but I also want to curl up into a ball and cry like a baby.

Matthew Woodson is not human:


I'm way more stressed than I should be for the children's book illustrations that i'm working on. Even though it's not really a critical gig, I feel like i'm way behind schedule and worse yet, I don't really feel motivated on it. A lot of it has to do with being stuck on some of the content but, I did some sketches today while sitting in the mall and it feels like i'm working out the kinks. I couldn't get a good feel for how to draw a cute little girl protagonist -it's not material i'm familiar with-; I guess what I needed was an angle:

Haha, I think I really need to branch my imagination out. I think getting out a hell of a lot more will do me good, I usually feel really awesome whenever i'm out but I seem to always forget about it the moment I step back in and hit the papers. Also, I'm seeing my adorable nieces tomorrow so that should give me some spice and priceless livemodels.

Anyways, I think I have to disconnect from the internet for a few days; there's too many candies in this shop and I'm getting a toothache.